Revision checklist

1. What is the thesis statement? Is it an accurate reflection of the author’s thesis
statement? Is it stated in your own words? How could you refine it to be more clear and conciseStudents feel parental and economic pressures, peer pressure, and even self-induced pressure.

Yes, I feel as though it’s an accurate thesis statement an is stated in my own words. I think it’s pretty straight forward how it’s written.

2. How is the essay introduced? Do you mention the article’s title, author, purpose and audience? Does it clearly set the tone for the paper and accurately reflect what is discussed therein? Could it be improved?

I introduced my essay by titling it after the author’s and stating the author’s name in the first paragraph. The tone of my paper reflects it’s purpose and the chosen audience. I believe this paper focusing on the main elements noted by the author. Papers could always stand to be improved when written by a student.

3. What are the main points of the summary? How do you recognize them? Do you leave out minor points and repetitive points for emphasis? Most importantly, do you leave out your own opinion, feelings or conclusions on the subject of the article?

The main point in my summary reflect the types of pressures seen by college students and then speak about how our nation needs to make a change in how young people view the college experience and it’s pressures. I tried not to be repetitive in this paper and also try to convey what Zinsser did in his.

4. How is the essay organized? Does it follow the organization of the original article? What transitions do you use? Think of some additional possibilities for more logical organization.

I organized my essay to follow along with how I ordered the pressures experienced by students. It somewhat follow Zinsser’s flow. I transitioned by showing my readers how certain pressures are interrelated to one another. I guess going in exact order with his essay may have been a more logical choice.

5. After your reading, can you say the thesis statement accurately reflects the topic and focus of the essay? How is the essay concluded? What technique do you employ in the conclusion? How is that effective or not?

I believe my thesis statement is accurate. I concluded by briefly summarizing the essay but also speaking about the need to break this cycle. I used another quotation by Zinsser to start my conclusion. I believe this was effective because it makes sure the reader sees the correlation between the essays.

6. Make sure to fix any major grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors.

7. Is the sentence structure varied and interesting? Do you have any weak, overly wordy, awkward, or confusing sentences? Does the essay strive to use active, direct, present tense verbs?

My sentence structure is concise and straight to the point. The wording in that in which many students can relate to, as it the content.

8. Were the textual passages (quotes and paraphrases) well-chosen? Remember you should try avoiding direct quotations when writing a summary.

I chose the quotes that would reinforce the message I was helping to convey. Direct quotations were used in my paper, but I believe they are effective.

9. Is the essay written in third-person? Are all instances of first- and second-person removed from the piece?

I referred to Zinsser and the students in the third person.

10. Is the draft two to three (2-3) pages typed, double-spaced? Are all the margins one inch (1”)?

Yes!