I would have to say my number one pressure right now is having the time to get all my homework done. I have three children, whom have a number of extracircular activities that I have to manage. First one up in the morning and last one to bed at night, that is the life I've been living for a number of years now.
I decided to go back to school after being laid off from a job I had a career in. It was a joyless job, but one that supported the family I created.
I feel pressured to get a high grade in my Physics class because I will probably not be accepted into the diagnostic sonography program without it. I feel pressured to just get in to that because waiting another year will be terrible for my family. After the spring semester, I will have completed everything else needed to graduate with my Bachelors.
It keeps me up at night thinking about the thousands of dollars we borrow every semester to help pay bills because I just CANNOT go to school full time, handle all three kids, and work. We tried that and it didn't go so well. I worry that my children will have to then borrow a lot of money because I will not have very much paid back on my loans. My oldest child is 10 and wants to be a teacher. I know I will not have my loans paid off in eight years, in time for her to start college. Then my next child, being 9, will start college. I may have them paid off in time for my youngest to attend, her being 4.
The thought of all this debt accumulating with interest makes me sick. Will we ever be able to buy a house? During their childhood?
Then there's the young people, there on their parent's money or maybe scholarship, who actually get to involve themselves in extra activities. These activities always look good on paper. What about PTO mom, or Awana mom, or cleans the house mom? Do employers look at that? NO!
Then the pressures at my home life. My husband wants more time with me, but so do the kids. I understand we went about this the hard way, but... Do I finish my homework or cook dinner? Can those dishes wait? Does anyone have clean underwear? ARG!?!?!
Am I smart enough to handle Physics? That question has been in my head for the last week. If not, than I cannot handle ultrasound classes. So then what will I do? This is way I have more grey hairs than any other 28 year old. I am sure of it.
Wow. It felt really good to vent all that.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Blog #3 - Thurber's "University Days"
I once took a class from a professor that didn't teach material correctly. This was a beginning level health care course and I had already learned a great deal in that field having completed my EMT-Basic and Intermediate beforehand. We were about a month into class when one day we had a lecture about aspiration and the unfortunate consequences. Well, I have a big mouth sometimes. This professor rattled off some information to the students that was not correct. I raised my hand and corrected him. I can still remember the other students looking at me with their mouths handing wide open. I didn't see the alarm like they did. The professor said, "Well... I will look it up after class and a correction will be made during the next class if need be." Let me just say.. need be. That was not the only time it happened too. I ended up correcting him three times before that class was over. I can also say that I did not learn much and felt like my time and money was wasted.
Oh.. the other students were in shock because he was a dean... is a dean. I didn't know that at the time. Of course, I found out the hard way. He ended up needing to enroll me in classes two semesters later. We both acted like we did't remember that semester, but I know better. I sometimes wonder when I tell that story to others feeling jaded by this university, would I have spoken up if I had known who this person was? YES!
And, as it turns out, I did a similar thing just recently. I voiced a opinion in opposition with the one person who could approve my major. I sure know how to really plant my foot in my mouth. The good thing is and was, both these fine persons knew what professionalism is. I guess I am just not the type of person that can stand around while things aren't being done right.
The subject that keeps me up at night right now, Physics. I know there will be nightmare to come.
Oh.. the other students were in shock because he was a dean... is a dean. I didn't know that at the time. Of course, I found out the hard way. He ended up needing to enroll me in classes two semesters later. We both acted like we did't remember that semester, but I know better. I sometimes wonder when I tell that story to others feeling jaded by this university, would I have spoken up if I had known who this person was? YES!
And, as it turns out, I did a similar thing just recently. I voiced a opinion in opposition with the one person who could approve my major. I sure know how to really plant my foot in my mouth. The good thing is and was, both these fine persons knew what professionalism is. I guess I am just not the type of person that can stand around while things aren't being done right.
The subject that keeps me up at night right now, Physics. I know there will be nightmare to come.
Blog #2 over Didion's "On Keeping a Notebook"
From time to time in my life, I have felt the need to write in a journal. While sitting here thinging about the reason why, I believe it was because I had voids in my life that needed to be filled. There were times when I did not have that person to listen to what I had to say or needed to say. Maybe I needed to vent about something that I was going through at the time, but didn't have that outlet.
I do not believe it is exercise in narcissism. Although I am sure there are many other whom just like to hear themselves.
I do utilize other forms of media to communicate things that one may write in a notebook. Sometimes I recite a great quote on facebook. Other times I use it to vent a complaint about some stupid person that cannot drive correctly in my eyes. The main purpose for my use of this social network, however, is to keep up with my extended family that is spread out all over these states.
Sometimes I wish people would just pick up a notebook rather than spilling out on these social networks. I do not need to know all their personal life stories nor do I really care. Does that make me seem like a rude person? I am not a fan of their drama.
Recording our daily lives this way is the same and is different. You can always go back and look in a notebook to see what you have written over the years..or whatever. How do we know what we write today on these will be there in the future? It's also different because we are exposing ourselves to comments and criticism whereas just journaling would keep things more private.
I sometimes wonder about what I'll remember when I am old and grey. I always take a lot of photos of my three children and joke that this is how I will remember when they all grow up and leave me. Should I be keeping a notebook of all the happenings during their childhoods?
I do agree with her opinion about those children who feel the need to write down everything..that they are more lonely than others that embrace life every second.
Marisa
I do not believe it is exercise in narcissism. Although I am sure there are many other whom just like to hear themselves.
I do utilize other forms of media to communicate things that one may write in a notebook. Sometimes I recite a great quote on facebook. Other times I use it to vent a complaint about some stupid person that cannot drive correctly in my eyes. The main purpose for my use of this social network, however, is to keep up with my extended family that is spread out all over these states.
Sometimes I wish people would just pick up a notebook rather than spilling out on these social networks. I do not need to know all their personal life stories nor do I really care. Does that make me seem like a rude person? I am not a fan of their drama.
Recording our daily lives this way is the same and is different. You can always go back and look in a notebook to see what you have written over the years..or whatever. How do we know what we write today on these will be there in the future? It's also different because we are exposing ourselves to comments and criticism whereas just journaling would keep things more private.
I sometimes wonder about what I'll remember when I am old and grey. I always take a lot of photos of my three children and joke that this is how I will remember when they all grow up and leave me. Should I be keeping a notebook of all the happenings during their childhoods?
I do agree with her opinion about those children who feel the need to write down everything..that they are more lonely than others that embrace life every second.
Marisa
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