Blog #4 College Pressures by Zinsser

I would have to say my number one pressure right now is having the time to get all my homework done.  I have three children, whom have a number of extracircular activities that I have to manage.  First one up in the morning and last one to bed at night, that is the life I've been living for a number of years now.
I decided to go back to school after being laid off from a job I had a career in.  It was a joyless job, but one that supported the family I created.
I feel pressured to get a high grade in my Physics class because I will probably not be accepted into the diagnostic sonography program without it.  I feel pressured to just get in to that because waiting another year will be terrible for my family.  After the spring semester, I will have completed everything else needed to graduate with my Bachelors.
It keeps me up at night thinking about the thousands of dollars we borrow every semester to help pay bills because I just CANNOT go to school full time, handle all three kids, and work.  We tried that and it didn't go so well.  I worry that my children will have to then borrow a lot of money because I will not have very much paid back on my loans.  My oldest child is 10 and wants to be a teacher.  I know I will not have my loans paid off in eight years, in time for her to start college.  Then my next child, being 9, will start college.  I may have them paid off in time for my youngest to attend, her being 4.
The thought of all this debt accumulating with interest makes me sick.  Will we ever be able to buy a house?  During their childhood?
Then there's the young people, there on their parent's money or maybe scholarship, who actually get to involve themselves in extra activities.  These activities always look good on paper.  What about PTO mom, or Awana mom, or cleans the house mom?  Do employers look at that?  NO!
Then the pressures at my home life.  My husband wants more time with me, but so do the kids.  I understand we went about this the hard way, but...  Do I finish my homework or cook dinner?  Can those dishes wait?  Does anyone have clean underwear?  ARG!?!?! 
Am I smart enough to handle Physics?  That question has been in my head for the last week.  If not, than I cannot handle ultrasound classes.  So then what will I do?  This is way I have more grey hairs than any other 28 year old.  I am sure of it.
Wow.  It felt really good to vent all that.